Vineri / Friday
Despre ce poti sa scrii cand nu ai nicio idee? Dar imi doresc enorm sa scriu. Ma face sa ma simt bine, libera si productiva. M-am trezit dis-de-dimineata, am baut cafeaua, am luat micul dejun, am dat muzica tare si am inceput sa ma zbengui prin casa ca un copil de 5-6 ani. Cu siguranta am trezit multe persoane cu volumul muzicii, dar mi-am vazut de treaba mea. Nu aveam nici foarte mult timp la dispozitie, dar mi-am facut de cap singura, sotul meu deja plecase la antrenament.Ma gandeam sa incep sa fac bagajele, dar imi era urat cand vedeam geamantanele goale si parca ma strigau “umple-ne, umple-ne”. Am lasat-o pe mai tarziu. M-am imbracat, mi-am luat caietele si pixurile si am plecat la meditatie. Parca sunt iar clasa a 12a, cand trageam de timp sa ajung la orele particulare si numaram mereu scarile pana ajungeam. Sunam la usa si ma rugam din tot sufletul sa nu auda profesorul sau profesoara soneria si sa pot sa plec. Dar niciodata nu aveam noroc, tot timpul usa se deschidea si ma asezam pe scaun trista si posomorata si auzeam ticaitul ceasului de pe perete. Erau cele mai lungi 2h din viata de liceu. Acum ma bufneste rasul cand imi aduc aminte ce motive prostesti gaseam pentru a scapa de meditatia de luni. Atunci chiar aveam impresia ca profesoara ma credea cand ii spuneam ca ma simt rau, ca am uitat cheia sau mai stiu eu ce inventii. Dar acum, o fac din placere si dorinta. Desi am studiat mult timp limba franceza si am si locuit 1 luna la Paris, fiind inscris intr-un program, acum vreau sa aprofundez limba si sa devin fluenta. Cel putin 4 sedinte pe saptamana, idiferent ca sunt la Constanta sau Bucuresti. Si pentru ca ambitia mea nu are limite, cel putin acum, la varsta asta, m-am apucat si de sala. Am o antrenoare deosebita. Ma face sa iubesc sportul si sa imi doresc sa ajung sa lucrez. Chiar daca imi dau sufletul acolo, sunt fericita. Mananc regulat si sanatos. De cateva zile am scos painea aproape definitiv, nu mai beau niciun fel de suc si chiar ma lupt sa renunt la zahar. Am cautat si ore de Yoga, dar din pacate aici, pe malul marii nu sunt. Nu-i nimic, gasesc eu altceva de facut. Cel mai important este sa fac ceva, pentru mine, pentru psihicul si corpul meu. Cu cat imi tin mintea mai ocupata, cu atat sunt mai productiva.
Acum ma pregatesc sa plec spre Urziceni, oraselul fantastic al Romaniei J. Insa, chiar ma bucur, pentru ca voi avea ocazia sa imi petrec timpul cu multi prieteni dragi (care au ramas putini ce-i drept), sa joc tennis si sa ma bucur de soare si de piscina in liniste. Parca imi e dor si de privirile urate pe care le primesc uneori. Sau poate ma insel si sufar de paranoia si de nebagare in seama. Dar intr-ul fel ciudat si inexplicabil, ma simt mai puternica.
Off..chiar trebuie sa merg la bagaje, deja plang si le este dor de mine. Nu au mai calatorit de mult.
Va pup si va doresc un weekend minunat!
What can you write about when nothing comes through your head? But I really want to write about something. It makes me feel better, free and productive. I woke up this morning, made my coffee, had breakfast, turned the music loud and started to jump through the house as a 5-6 year-old child. I certainly woke up many people because of the tune, but I minded my own business. I didn’t have too much time for myself, but I did what I wanted by myself, my husband had already left for training. I was thinking about starting to pack up the luggage, but the empty suitcases were making me feel uncomfortable and they seemed to call me “fill us up, fill us up”. I postponed it. I got dressed, took my notebooks and pens and left for the classes. I feel like being in the 12th grade again, when I was playing out time to get to the private classes and I was always counting the stairs until I arrived. I was ringing the door bell and I was praying deeply that the teacher should not hear the door bell and so I could leave. But I was having bad luck all the time, the door was opening all the time and I was sitting down on the chair gloomy, hearing the ticking of the clock on the wall. These were the longest 2 hours from the high-school period. Now I feel like laughing about it when I remember the stupid reasons I was finding to get rid of the Monday private lesson. I was having the feeling that the teacher believed me when I was telling her I was feeling bad, that I had forgotten the key or I don’t know what other reasons. But now I do it for pleasure and it’s my own wish. Although I studied French for a long time and I lived in Paris for one month, being enrolled in a program, now I want to do some advance studies and learnt it fluently. At least 4 lessons during the week, no matter if they in Constanta or in Bucharest. Because my ambition knows no boundaries, at least at this age, I started going to the gym too. I have a special trainer. She makes me love sport and to get to work on it. Even if I get exhausted in there, I feel happy. I eat regularly and healthy. I removed bread almost for good for a few days, I don’t drink any juice and I even fight to give up sugar. I searched for Yoga classes, but, unfortunately, there are none at the sea shore. It’s all right, I will find something else to do. The most important thing is to do something, for my mental health and for my body. The more I keep my mind busy with something, the more I become more productive.
Now I get ready to leave to Urziceni, the fantastic Romanian little city. But I am glad to do it, because I have the chance to spend my time with my dear friends (who have left a few), to play tennis and to enjoy the sun and the pool in peace. It looks to me that I miss those ugly eye-sights I get sometimes. Or perhaps I am wrong and I have become paranoid and ignorant. But I feel stronger, which seems weird and impossible to explain.
Well, I really have to get the luggage ready, they are already crying and miss me. They haven’t travelled for quite a long time.
Kiss you all and wish you a wonderful weekend!